


Serenity and Closure

by DeathlySilent13



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst Warning, Edward grows up, M/M, Not Beta Read, Roy's still stupid, Roy/Ed Week 2020-Day 2, Roy/Ed Week 2020-Day 4, Roy/Ed Week 2020-Day 6, We love him anyway, don't hate me, mildly AU, multiple prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28266540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathlySilent13/pseuds/DeathlySilent13
Summary: A discovery they never expected, and the closure of knowing they did the best they could.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang, Mei Chan | May Chang/Alphonse Elric
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39
Collections: Roy/Ed Week 2020





	1. Peace

**Author's Note:**

> This is three chapters, and I'm marking it complete, but that doesn't necessarily guarantee I won't put a fourth chapter up. Each chapter uses a different prompt for Roy/Ed week 2020 part 2. I'll say it again in case the tag got missed, there's MAJOR ANGST IN CHAPTER 2 PLEASE DON'T HATE ME I hate myself enough. ALso, in case it's not clear, Italic conversation is in Xingese. 
> 
> Chapter 1 is Day 2: Peace  
> Chapter 2 is Day 4: "What's wrong?"  
> Chapter 3 is day 6 - Changed.

Ed wakes with a start, feeling like he can’t breathe. He lifts his left arm, intending to roll over, only to discover there is a furred mountain pinning him to the bed. The thumping that begins against his foot assures him that said furry mountain is now aware that he is awake. 

“Ed...ward.” 

He grins, his name only growing more and more precious coming from the chimera who has flattened him, and pats her gently before squirming out from under her far enough that he can sit up without dislodging her from the bed completely. He stands and stretches his arms over his head, thankful he’d bothered to put boxers and a tank top on after he’d showered last night. He doesn’t know if she’d be aware, but he’d rather not find out.

“Let’s go see what Al made for breakfast this time!” Edward kisses the top of the chimera’s head and heads for the door, knowing by the thump of large paws against the floor that she’s following him. It’s been over a year since they discovered the truth, and they decided that they’d much rather keep it this way than go home. Amestris is fine now, or as fine as it can be. No one questioned why the Elric brothers didn’t want to return to Central once Al had recovered from his body spending so long beyond the Gate. For all they’d withstood, no one doubted that they’d earned a reprieve. 

They step into the kitchen to the smell of waffles, and Edward grins down at the face of chimera Nina Tucker, who is looking up at him and grinning as well as she can within a face that is largely Alexander’s in return with her tail thumping against the wall. “Al made…..waff-les” she says, leaping ahead of him to the oversized cushion on one end of the low table. Xing apparently didn’t use chairs, their tables were low and people sat on cushions on the floor. Nina loves being included at the table, so this was perhaps the easiest adjustment the brothers had undertaken in nearly a decade. 

They had discovered, completely by accident, that the chimera Scar had killed in the alley hadn’t actually been the freshly transmuted Nina, but one of the other self-aware chimeras from one of the military’s labs. They’d found Nina huddled in the sewers running from the Ishvalans who had also taken refuge within them. They’d bribed an Ishvalan outcast that hadn’t been accepted within the larger camps to watch over her, and went back for her once everything was over and even outcasts were offered a second chance. Having already met Ling and Mei by that point, it didn’t take the brothers long to convince Ling to smuggle Nina into Xing when they returned with Fu’s body after the Promised Day. 

He’d done one better. He had sent Mei and Nina to live in a forest away from prying people, in a moderately-sized home owned by the Yao clan. After his coronation, once Nina had been mostly settled, Mei returned to Amestris, delivering a personal message from now-emperor Yao, inviting the boys to live in safety with Nina under his direct protection. They agreed, and once Al had been cleared medically, made the trek back across the desert with Mei. They’d told no one their destination, or reasoning, and only Winry and Mustang had even asked. The wanderlust of the Elric brothers, or perhaps just of Edward with Al trailing him everywhere, was legendary. Once they’d been able to take over Nina’s care, Mei had returned to the Xingese capital for school, attending completely free of charge under the direct protection of the Emperor. She comes back almost every weekend now, teaching Ed and Al everything she can, which in turn helps her own retention.

Ed and Al speak almost exclusively in Imperial Xingese when Mei visits, and Amestrian all other times for Nina. They’ve discovered that while she still has a shocking amount of cognitive awareness, she doesn’t possess the retention to learn an entirely new language. Her speech is still halting, but she’s aware and smart. Al thinks her biology is warped, and he isn’t actually sure how much of her is truly female, but they won’t ask her directly because they know exactly which pronouns she prefers. The rest doesn’t really matter. They had a hard time accepting how little they could do, and neither of them knows for sure what her life span is going to be, but they’ve sworn to make her life as pleasant as they possibly can. 

Edward is pulled out of his musings as Al moves a giant platter of waffles filled with various local fruits to the table. They’d done extensive research, and taste tests, to make sure they only cook with those things that are non-toxic to both humans and dogs. Nina likes eating at the table, but they don’t want to make her sick when they make her the kinds of food her human mind remembers and wants. Ed moves to one of the empty cushions, the glaringly red fabric edged in black a startling contrast to Nina’s pale purple with bright blue ruffles, or Al’s much more sensible soft green with blue-grey tassels. Al settles next to him, each of them on their own edge of the table so they can all see each other, and Ed dishes out everyone’s plates, drizzling the home-made syrup onto Nina’s waffles in a vaguely flower-shape, and Al’s in a cat’s. One last grin is gifted to both boys from the chimera before she digs in, devouring her food faster than even Edward. 

Meals never take long, and once plates are piled in the sink to soak, they head outside. Nina moves freely, and still hates being cooped up in the house. The boys are thankful Ling set them up with a place basically in a forest, so they can take her outside and wander around and play in the sun. Al had used stones during a bad rain season to line a couple paths that lead up to some of Nina’s favorite places, and the joy of watching her run up and down them in her excitement the first time she saw them made it more than worth the manual labor in pouring rain.

Today she immediately turns onto the one leading up to the waterfall. They boys follow at a more sedate pace, content to let her frolic. There’s still a fair bit of Alexander within her, and the large dog is more pronounced now as Nina’s nose examines every tree and shrub. She finds the lingering traces of a pair of squirrels halfway to the waterfalls, and the boys chuckle at the way her voice echoes back to them as she narrates what she finds as best she can. 

The rush of water heralds their arrival, and Nina’s already in the water as she comes into view again, the pool thankfully shallow, and reaching only about to Nina’s belly. They don’t have to worry about whether she can swim this way, and she’s free to dance about in the spray of water and the ensuing rainbows. They long since stopped worrying about keeping her in sight and reach, and Al has speculated that she keeps the constant stream of commentary for their benefit, so they always know exactly where she’s at. 

Al looks at Ed, who grins and nods. He doesn’t get in the water, but Al does, stripping off his shirt and then his shoes and joining in Nina’s frivolity. Ed keeps watch, under the guise of needing to avoid submerging his automail. Not entirely inaccurate, but not necessarily the primary reason, either. He enjoys watching Al get to relive these fractured bits of childhood with her. They’d all lost such things far too young, and if these moments help them sleep easier, then so much the better. 

A gentle humming along with a twig snapping keeps Ed from pivoting and flinging a pair of throwing knives. Mei dances up to him, settling on the flattened boulder he’d perched upon with familiar ease. 

_“The Emperor has sent me with a question for you and Alphonse,”_ she says softly. It had taken time, but Mei came to understand why the boys still speak Amestrian around Nina, and that they made the effort to learn Xingese for her regardless made her get surprisingly weepy. At Ed’s nod, she continues, keeping her voice low enough that it won’t upset Nina. _“He has been receiving letters, people assuming that he at least knows where you are, even if it isn’t here. Miss Rockbell, in particular, wishes greatly to see you and Alphonse. General Mustang, as well. Emperor Yao has been able to placate the rest, but those two have only grown more insistent as time passes.”_ She pauses, giving him an apologetic look. She’s been supportive of them, and offers a small shrug. _“You have been here awhile, you know.”_

Ed sighs. It was only a matter of time, after all. He watches Nina chase Al in wide circles through the pond, her mane and tail whipping around despite the water soaking it through. He doesn’t particularly want to burst this happy little bubble, but he’s matured enough now to know that they can’t stay hidden away forever. It’s not fair to Winry and Granny and the Hugheses and even the General and his team. They’d been friends, and spending so long away borders on cruel. 

_“Alright, Mei,”_ he finally says. _“I’ll talk to Al as soon as Nina’s gone upstairs for her midday nap. You staying for dinner, or do you have to get back sooner?”_

Mei just beams at him, which is answer enough. No matter how long they’re here, she always acts like every invitation to join them for a meal is the first time. She’s never turned one down, either, barring the one occasion that Ling was actively waiting for her to return with an answer. Friends or not, he is still Emperor.

They don’t linger long after that, and after a thorough rubdown to dry Nina’s fur and much giggling and laughter as her mane and tail are brushed and braided, Nina and Ed head upstairs, leaving Mei and Al to whisper to themselves. Their doors all slide, and they put grooves at the top of every interior door so they never fully close, allowing Nina to easily nose or paw them open. They don’t want her to be a prisoner in this home they’ve built for her. Nina flops onto her bed, a futon without a frame, as all of them are, and Ed sits on the edge, running his flesh fingers through her fur. 

It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep, and the lullaby he sings may not be entirely necessary, but it soothes her and excites Al that Ed’s taken up the knack for it their mother had, so he does it anyway. He heads back downstairs to Al’s intense stare, and just shrugs at the silent question. 

_“I don’t know that I care either way, as long as they aren’t going to hurt Nina. That’s all that really matters now.”_ he tells the pair, earning an approving nod from Al and a sigh from Mei. 

_“Will you be returning to Amestris, then?”_ she asks softly. Ed grins, she’s grown progressively more attached to Al the past few months, and now that Mei is approaching an age where most of the royals begin getting married, it’s going to get worse. Ed asked Ling about it on one of their rare trips to the Royal Palace to visit. Mei, as a Chang princess, normally wouldn’t be allowed to even consider such a thing, but Ling’s changing the structure so the clan heirs aren’t killing each other off. He’s working towards a more merciful succession process. And since Ed and Al are known personal confidants of the Emperor, it grants them status almost equal to royal lineage, so Mei may just be able to marry Al, if the younger brother is possessed of such wishes. 

_“Probably not. We may have taken the Homunculi out, but I highly doubt Nina would be safe there. If Ling’s willing, we can bring them here. We’re gonna be here at least as long as Nina lives.”_ Ed grins at Mei, who blushes faintly. 

_“You’re not very subtle, are you, Brother?”_ Al asks him, voice dripping with sarcasm and judgement. This isn’t a new occurrence anymore. 

Ed just shakes his head and laughs. It’s freeing, to be able to laugh, to simply let life happen. Even with the automail leg still, he’s never felt so light. Winry won’t change that, but Mustang might. He’ll worry about it later. _“I’m gonna see if our traps caught anything. Don’t forget Nina’s upstairs, lovebirds!”_

He dodges the airborne pillow, relishing the embarrassed squawk that follows him out the door. 

#####

It’s three weeks before they hear anything more about impending visitors. Ling had apparently invited Winry along with Mustang and Hawkeye, so everyone will be descending at once. Ling’s people caught wind that Paninya tagged along with Winry from Rush Valley and they allowed it. Al is cleaning the house somewhat obsessively, Ed took Nina out back so she could sunbathe while he tended the garden.

Most of the garden is weed-free before Nina perks up, causing Ed to look over while swallowing down his trepidation. “Peop-le are…..here,” she said, leaping to her feet and trotting excitedly inside. Ed follows her, unable to help the grin as she barely pauses in getting the door open. It had been a trial, at first, but Nina’s definitely made it home. 

Conversation grinds to a halt as they catch sight of Nina, and Ed steps into the room in time to see Winry unwind herself from Al and stare between Ed and the chimera. “Is this why you didn’t come back?” she asks softly. She knows the story, of course. Everyone does by now. And they all know how much it weighed on Ed, especially, to lose Nina, or so they’d thought back then. 

“Yes, she is,” he says, his voice cordial but his gaze flashing briefly at the easy dismissal. Al’s face scrunches, though Nina’s focused on getting her ears scratched and doesn’t notice. Ed refuses to let them dismiss the girl as an ‘it’ or anything other than she’s come to mean to them. 

Hawkeye steps forward, much to Ed’s shock, and kneels in front of the chimera girl. “Hello, Nina. I’m so glad you’re doing well.” Nina’s tail thumps, and her nose extends, sniffing at her curiously for several moments before scooting forward and nosing happily at Hawkeye’s elbow. “You have…..a dog?” she asks, and the thumping intensifies as Hawkeye nods. 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts as he watches the girl when his automail arm is wrenched nearly out of its port by Winry as she drags him back towards the kitchen, Mustang following silently. Ed is trying not to be concerned by the older man’s lack of reaction, but it’s starting to get to him. He won’t risk Nina, but she’ll be devastated if they have to move. 

He comes to a halt as his arm is released, and leans against the counter as Winry studies him far more intently then he’d expected of her. “You know,” she says, voice pitched low and carefully neutral, “I saw her and I was prepared to rip you apart for keeping this from me, and staying away so long…..” Ed flinches at her words, but doesn’t interrupt. “I never thought I’d see that kind of look on your face, Ed. You looked…..well, like a proud parent….”

Ed might have scoffed, might have argued, but Mustang speaks for the first time, and all Ed can do is stare. “Maes used to look at Elicia that way. Like she was the only thing that mattered in the world, and every breath she took was a gift to witness.” Ed doesn’t bother wondering at the sad tone, knowing well that Mustang may never really get over Hughes’s death. 

Ed shrugs, hands stuffed into his pockets. “There was a day I’d argue with you, but you’re not wrong, really. Every breath Nina takes is a gift I thought I’d lost…..that I’d been directly responsible for taking from her by scaring her off into the street for Scar to find. And, yeah, I guess I do live for her now. Don’t really have much else, Al’s self sufficient enough to get by. Probably get a lot further without me, but he’ll never accept it.”

Anything he might have said after is stripped away by the armful of sobbing Winry that launches at him, and he catches her with ease, knowing by now how to cradle her body and stroke her back without crushing or impeding her heaving. Nina used to, when she thought they’d left her behind, so he’s got over a year’s practice with it. 

Mei, Al, and Paninya come into the room, Hawkeye trailing them with Nina still at her side and grinning happily, to find Ed holding up Winry and Mustang standing awkwardly against the wall. Nina prances over to the pair of blondes, nosing Winry’s side curiously. “Why...are you…...sad?” she asks. 

Ed chuckles. “It’s alright, Nina. She’s not sad, she just missed us a lot. She’ll be fine in a minute. Have you decided what you want for lunch?” The question, the ease with which Ed focuses on the girl even now, sets Winry off again, though she’s quieter this time. 

Nina sits, head tilted as she ponders the question. “Slur-py nood-les!” she decides happily dancing around in her favorite mix of happy toddler and exuberant puppy dances. “Can Win-ry…..and….Ri-za have…..slur-py nood-les…..too?” 

Ed, Al, and Mei just grin, while the rest watch on in fascination. “Sure thing, Nina! We have enough, everyone can have slurpy noodles,” Al declares, moving to the pantry to start pulling food out. They’d have to send for supplies sooner to feed everyone, but Ed expects Ling’s planning the extra trip out already. 

“Hey Nina!” Ed calls to her while she’s dancing around the living room. “You wanna show Riza and Paninya the garden while we cook?” 

Mei chimes in, not needing to bother trying to linger for any of the conversations that are coming. “I’ll go with you all, if you’d rather go out to the flower fields, Nina.” Her Amestrian is still flawless, though the ‘Thank you’ that Ed mouths to her is in Xingese. She beams as Nina heads outside, excited to show the girls all the pretty flowers, Mei explaining in hushed tones that Nina’s free to run and knows not to go too far as they take to one of the stone paths.

Once the kitchen is reduced to Ed, Al, Winry, and Mustang, the cooking begins in earnest. Cooking is perhaps the one thing they keep Nina far away from, as flammable as all her fur is likely to be. _“Did you bring in the spinach?”_ Al asks, getting a nod from Ed as the bundle is flung at his head, and he glares at the elder Elric until he realizes he's lapsed into Xinese again. 

“Whoops! Sorry! It's a habit any time Nina isn’t around. Mei prefers it despite how well she speaks Amestrian. Nina is smart, she’s about on par with a pre-teen now, I think, but she can’t handle multiple languages, so we do a lot of switching between them.” 

Winry drops onto one of the cushions around the table, just watching them all. Ed’s pretty sure she’s pretty much checked out at this point, and lets her be. It’s a lot to take in, he’s not going to deny that. 

Mustang, however, is watching them with an expression Ed can’t quite define, and he’s not sure yet if he likes it. “Do you know how far she’s going to grow?” he asks, his thoughtful gaze disappearing behind his mask as Ed and Al share a long look. 

Al sighs a moment later, dumping ramen noodles into the boiling pot while Ed rinses the boiled eggs. “We think this is as far as she’s going to get,” he says. “We’ve been subtly tracking her growth since we got out here, and Mei gave us what she’d seen before we took over her care. Her lifespan will most likely be closer to canine than human, and given how old Ed thinks Alexander was, we estimate she’s got maybe three to five years left, give or take.” 

Winry gasps at this, looking like she wants to cry again, and even Mustang looks stricken. Ed waves his hand in the air. “No help for it. We can’t undo what was done, and any attempts to modify her risks damaging her or worse, even if Al knew how she’s put together. All we can really do is make her as happy as possible for as long as we can.” 

“And that’s enough for you?” Mustang asks. The part of Ed that remembers dealing with Mustang bristles, but he doesn’t give in, breathing through the brief adrenaline spike as he pulls bowls down so Al can start serving the noodles, they’re just about done. 

When he’s calmer again, he turns to face Mustang, ignoring how surprised the older man appears at Ed’s ability to regulate himself. Even if Ed will never admit it himself, he’s grown mentally and emotionally over the past year. “I’ve done every impossible thing I shook my fist at the universe over and swore to do no matter what. We’ve saved the world, Mustang. Or, Amestris, at least. Al’s whole. That’s all I ever really wanted out of my life. I could have laid down once Al had cleared his physiotherapy and died happy. Nina gives me a purpose. A chance to….maybe not right a wrong, per se, but make the aftermath bearable for her.” He leaves it at that. He has no need to defend himself to anyone. He’s made his choices, and he’s accepted the consequences.

Winry takes a shaky breath, and both Ed and Al wince. They’ve always hated making her cry, and that hasn’t changed. “Why here, though?” she queries, and Al looks at Ed. 

Ed sighs, though he can’t really blame Al for leaving him to answer. “Because despite everything we pulled off, there’s still several from the Bradley regime stuck in the Amestrian Military. Things can change with Grumman now, but enough hasn’t that Nina wouldn’t be safe anywhere in Amestris. It’s not fair to ask her to live her entire life in fear, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Ling offered us full Imperial protection. We’re safe, he’s made sure of it, and his support insulates us on the off chance that anyone back home learns about Nina and tries to take shit into their own hands.” 

Noodles are drained, tucked into their bowls, and the boys begin piling the spinach and sliced eggs and other nutritious additions in. The broth won’t go in until everyone comes back, so nothing gets soggy. It’s silent for several minutes, Mustang and Winry simply watching. 

“Slurpy noodles?” Winry finally asks, and the brothers chuckle.

“It started as a game, actually,” Al says, turning back to their visitors as he wipes his hands on a towel. “Funny names for her favorite dishes to take her mind off of everything. She developed a penchant for ramen the first time Mei taught us how to make it. We’ve had to be extra careful with what she eats, though. Lots of things we consume are toxic for dogs and we don’t know exactly how her digestive system is wired, so we just don’t keep anything in the house that can be toxic to canines. Made some of our favorites difficult to live without, but we’d rather be safe than have chocolate.” 

Ed turns around to see a fresh well of tears from Winry, and he frowns. She’s never been this emotional, and he’s starting to wonder what else is going on. “Win?” he asks, his concern lacing his voice and causing Al’s brow to furrow as well. 

Winry sniffles again, shaking her head as she gathers herself. “Sometimes I still expect you to be all temper and spite. I never really thought you’d be….well….a parent, Ed. But that’s what you’ve turned in to. You two remind me of Dad and Aunt Trish on the holidays, while we were running in and out of the house and tracking snow everywhere and somehow everything still came off the stove on time.” 

Ed and Al move in tandem, the elder checking the stove while the younger moves bowls back and they drop down on either side of Winry. Four arms come around the girl, and she fists a hand in each of their shirts and holds them like her life depended on it. Mustang hovers almost awkwardly, but doesn’t attempt to join or intervene. 

They’re still huddled together when Nina and the others return, and the chimera, long past her shyness now, immediately trots across the room and flops across the huddled trio’s laps. “Not…..sad…..right?” Nina asks, earning a small smile from Winry. 

Winry’s arms wrap around the girl, whose tail becomes a hazard as it starts flailing around behind her. “Not sad. Promise. I just missed you guys so much. I’m so glad I get to visit.” Something in Ed swells at seeing his best girls curled together, and his expression softens into one of indulgent fondness as he watches them. Al’s expression mirrors him, of course, they both had to learn to be what Nina needed. 

Mustang had seen it already, but the sudden shock from Hawkeye and Paninya is palpable. Edward glances up at the pair of them, shrugging and lifting himself off the floor. “Food’s done. Mustang, can you help Al with the spare table from the shed? We’ll need the room.”

The older man nods, trailing silently after Al as Ed begins filling the prepped bowls with the still-steaming broth. Winry starts up a tentative conversation with Nina about her favorite flowers and Hawkeye joins. The years of dealing with Ed’s rambling as he worked through his racing thoughts makes it easier for them to patiently handle Nina’s halting speech. 

####

Dinner is a fun affair, Paninya helping Nina slurp up her noodles with as much unnecessary noise as possible. Hawkeye and Mustang watch with a strange sort of fondness, while Al and Winry shake their heads in practiced unison at how quickly both Ed and Nina end up going through their food. The crowd retires to the living room once dishes are done, and Ed nudges Winry before she settles beside Paninya. 

“Come back to the room. I know you’re gonna want to lecture me about my leg while you’re here, might as well get it out of the way,” he says, tilting his head and pivoting on his flesh foot. 

Nina takes the opportunity to jump up onto the couch with Paninya, dropping her head into the laughing girl’s lap. Winry shakes her head, following Edward towards the back of the cabin. 

“I was just gonna use the living room floor. You haven’t been shy about it in ages,” she comments almost idly. Her brow furrows as Edward shrugs. 

“Saves freaking Nina out if you detach it. She knows putting it back on hurts, and it upsets her.” He flops onto what is clearly his bed, done in similar glaring colors to his cushion in the kitchen. She settles next to him, pulling his leg into her lap and unearthing a set of screwdrivers from one of the pockets in her cargo pants. 

“You’ve changed,” comes a voice from the door, and Winry jumps. 

Ed just laughs. “Yeah, I know. Didn’t really have a choice once we knew she was still alive. We couldn’t trust her with many people, and on that depressingly short list, Al n’ I were the only ones who’d have a clue how to tell if something ends up going wrong.” 

WInry focuses on taking Ed’s leg apart, listening but not contributing. It occurs to her that this is always how she’s been, and likely a heavy part of why she and Ed never managed to be a permanent couple. She just didn’t understand him, not really. Not like this. 

Hawkeye stays in the doorway, watching with a reserved kind of curiosity. “Do you expect something to go wrong?” she asks Ed, his words depressing to her. For all they’ve done and survived and achieved, they still plan for the worst. There’s a part of her that well and truly hates it. 

Ed nods. “Digging through what we knew of Tucker’s chimeras, and Marcoh’s notes and a couple things we stumbled across beneath Lab Five…...there’s a real chance that the transmutation will fail. Chimeras aren’t always well mixed, and the way they’re spliced together doesn’t guarantee that their primary genomes won’t eventually figure out how to reject the foreign data that’s been shoved into them. The main component that was modified and added to may very well start to deny the rest of it.” 

Winry pauses, a wrench stuck in Ed’s leg as she checks the wires and nerve connectors, and stares at him in horror. “And what happens if it does?” 

The look Edward gives her breaks both blonde womens’ hearts. “We won’t let her live in that kind of pain….we won’t watch her expire slowly as her body fails.” 

Setting the wrench aside, Winry curls over his leg and buries her face in her hands. Hawkeye moves forward, sitting next to Winry and wrapping a tentative arm around her shoulders. The comfort sets the younger girl off, and she curls into Hawkeye’s shoulder and cries. 

Ed sits up, mindful of his leg still being taken apart, and props himself against the headboard. “I hate making you cry,” he mumbles, almost to himself. Hawkeye manages a small grin. 

“It’s disheartening that you’re prepared to make such a choice, Edward,” she tells him around Winry’s mostly-silent sobs. “After everything, you shouldn’t have to bear such a burden.” 

Ed lifts one shoulder almost idly, sighing slowly. He’d thought about that as well, during their seclusion out here. “World’s never gonna be just sunshine and rainbows. It’s never gonna be free of burdens. For good or ill, Al n’ I are probably better suited to carrying it than most. It’s not…..as strange. To us. Won’t be the first time we’ve had to make hard choices, we know how to do it. How many people would be able to say the same?” 

Hawkeye sighs softly, dipping her head in silent and reluctant acknowledgement. He’s right, she accepts that. But she doesn’t like it. Her mind flashes back to a conversation she’d accidentally had with an exceptionally drunk Roy Mustang about four months after they’d dropped off the radar completely, and a new question comes to her. She holds her silence until Winry has finished checking Ed’s leg and has put the plates back in place before speaking again.

“Edward,” she says softly, “if there was a way to guarantee no one would harm Nina, would you come back to Amestris? To Central?” 

Winry’s head pops up so fast she nearly headbutts Hawkeye's chin. She stares incredulously at the older woman, while Ed’s look is far more guarded. 

“You can’t. There will never be a guarantee.” 

The words are surprisingly harsh, and Winry flinches. 

Hawkeye, however, has seen enough now to not be quite so surprised. “Hypothetically, then,” she counters, needing his answer, needing to know. 

Edward studies her for several agonizing heartbeats, and if she’d been anyone else, Hawkeye might have been uncomfortable by it. “What are you really asking me, Lieutenant?” he finally asks in return, and the sudden use of her rank surprises her. 

This is most assuredly not the boy they’d bid farewell to before. Hawkeye sighs. “He loves you, you know,” she admits softly. 

Edward just snorts. “Never took you for a fool. He doesn’t know how. Not anymore. Too many years keeping everyone at arm’s length playing a game. You just happen to have been inside when he started building the walls.” 

She stares openly at him, and Winry’s shock only grows as she, too, stares at him. When did he figure it out, and why did he bother? What else are they not aware he’s seen?

Another voice startles them all, and this time all three of them jump. “So you left?” 

Three pairs of eyes turn to Roy Mustang in the doorway, and Edward’s narrow. “I left to take care of Nina.” he says, voice going carefully neutral. 

Mustang’s own eyes narrow in return. “Alone? You didn’t ask for help, Fullmetal, you just vanished.” 

Hawkeye stands, hoping to head off a full-on screaming match, only to pause when Edward’s voice stays low, and grows dark. There’s no trace of his once-usual explosive temper at being challenged.

“I left,” he says slowly, “because I paid my dues. Nina needed me, and still does. Amestris does not. I’ve fixed what I could, never mind that it should never have been my burden to shoulder. The rest isn’t mine to solve. I went where I was needed, Mustang.” 

“We needed you,” Mustang fires back, and Hawkeye frowns. “I needed you. Damnit, Edward, I still need you. I need to know you’re safe, that my universe still has a sun. Did you really never realize?” 

Edward stands slowly, habit more than anything having him testing the automail before settling his full weight on it after maintenance work to ensure it still holds him. He faces Mustang with his shoulders back, his spine straight. “I realized, but I know well that you don’t have doors in your walls, Mustang. Or do you really expect me to be content outside of them?” 

The elder man visibly reels back, and Hawkeye’s hands drop back to her sides. She’s not going to be able to stop this one, it seems. She doesn’t back down, though she takes care not to be entirely between them, either. Perhaps it is time they get this out after all. 

Edward doesn’t wait for Mustang to gather himself. “I’m not sitting around waiting. I’ve done enough waiting and guessing and wishing. I’ve given and given until I don’t know who the hell is staring at me in the mirror, Mustang. You missed your move, and that’s not on me. I’m needed here.” He doesn’t wait for a reply, striding across the room without pause and sending Mustang nearly scampering backwards to get out of the way. 

Hawkeye sighs, glancing at Winry staring at the now empty doorway with her jaw hanging. Sir,” she says softly, approaching Mustang like a spooked colt. “Perhaps we should return to Central. We still have your swearing in to prepare for. All is well here.” 

“Swearing in?” Winry parrots, and Hawkeye nearly flinches. It’s not yet widely known, and she hadn’t been entirely sure the Elrics needed to.

Mustang looks over at the girl, blinking several times to get back into some semblance of functionality. “Yes. Grumman is retiring due to health complications. It hasn’t been formally announced, but I will be Fuhrer come next month. We had intended to invite Edward and Alphonse…..but it seems I was mistaken. Lieutenant, we shall take our leave shortly.” 

Hawkeye nods, her own mannerisms falling back into place as he retakes his own. This is familiar to them both. This is how things have always been, for so long now that neither of them entirely knows how to be anything else. 

Winry watches him fold himself back into the walls, and she just shakes his head. “That right there is exactly why he never tried, you know,” she murmurs softly, before turning her back on them and packing up her case of tools with perhaps a little more noise than might have been strictly necessary. 

Mustang’s eyes close for a heartbeat and a half, but there’s no other outward sign of the agony that her words inflict upon him as he turns and heads back out to the main room. Paninya has settled more centrally on the couch, and has Nina laying all the way across her lap, paws in the air for a welcomed belly rub. 

Mei sits on a smaller loveseat, watching Nina’s happiness with a fondness that makes his heart ache. The voices of Edward and Alphonse float in from the kitchen, though by the cadence he suspects they’re speaking Xingese so he doesn’t bother trying to listen. 

Winry follows them into the room, moving immediately to sit on the couch at Nina’s head. Her fingers delve into the long mane of hair, and the chimera’s tail resumes beating against the couch’s armrest at having another person doting on her. 

Mustang watches all of this, trying to stay detached. He doesn’t belong here. He turns to the kitchen just as the sound of a door reaches his ears. Hawkeye offers him a single sympathetic look before heading into the kitchen herself. He follows a moment later when Alphonse’s voice is the only one he hears. 

Alphonse looks over at the man, not as surprised by the face devoid of most of his emotions. He gathered based on how Hawkeye approached him that Mustang had shut himself away. He sighs. 

“The Lieutenant says you’re heading back to Central,” he offers, though the use of her title makes both of them still for a noticeable second.

Mustang nods once. “There are a few things we need to prepare for now that we know you’re not in danger.” He doesn’t offer anything more. If Hawkeye hasn’t already told him, then they won’t be told. Winry likely will, but he intends to be far enough out that Edward can’t reach him when that happens. 

Alphonse only sighs. “Very well. We wish you safe travels, General. Lieutenant.” He wants to say more, but holds back. Edward is upset enough, and he doesn’t have the full story. He’ll wait and see, for now. 

Edward doesn’t return before Mustang and Hawkeye depart, and Alphonse tucks Nina in alone that night. Winry’s more somber than usual, but they managed to make the evening bright enough to keep Nina happy, and that’s all Al really wants for now. Once Winry and Paninya are settled in their pallets, he retires to his room, which bears a second pallet as well. He doesn’t have to wait long for Edward to return, and they both see Winry and Paninya off with smiles the following morning. 

Nothing is said of Mustang and Hawkeye’s departure, and they continue on with their lives as they had for the past year and some.


	2. What's Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST WARNING.

TWO YEARS LATER: 

Fuhrer Roy Mustang and Captain Riza Hawkeye stand in the grand palace at the heart of Xing. They hadn’t been back since their visit to Edward and Alphonse, and all communication had been exclusively with the Emperor. Trade routes had been established, and with the first train line running from Youswell to Shangzhou things have finally opened up for Amestris. Grumman laid the groundwork, passing away in his sleep within weeks of Mustang being sworn in. Mustang has expanded it, fostering proper relationships with all of their neighbors except Drachma. He’s satisfied for the moment. Amestris is more at peace now than perhaps ever. 

Considering they were expected, Hawkeye has to bite back her ire that they’ve been kept waiting. She’s come to expect better from Ling Yao. She’s tempted to snarl as yet another attendant comes up to them, this one bowing and apologizing as the previous have. 

The attendant doesn’t look them in the eye, speaking from his bow “The Emperor sends his deepest apologies. He is ready for you now.” 

At Mustang’s affirmation, he pivots, leading them down a long hallway and into a room that might have passed for a study if not for the size. Emperor Yao is sitting in a chair by the windows, looking strangely somber. 

At their entry, he stands, bowing to his Amestrian guests. “I had not intended to keep you waiting. I had some unfortunate news reach me just before your arrival.” He pauses here, frowning at a letter in his hands. “You may accompany me, if you wish. I did not know whether you would want to, but I must go see Edward and Alphonse immediately.” He takes a breath, struggling not to let his voice shake. 

“What’s wrong?” Mustang asks before he can catch himself. Several possibilities fly through his head, and his heart kicks into overdrive. 

Ling hangs his head. “Nina has…..passed away.” 

Mustang’s shock is clear, as is the whispered ‘No,' from his Captain beside him. The way the Emperor had hesitated makes Mustang’s stomach roll. He prays to things he doesn’t believe in that those boys hadn’t had to make the choice they’d told Hawkeye they were braced for, even as he looks at the despair on Ling Yao’s face and wants to tear the unfairness of the world apart.

They agree to go, of course, and Ling ushers them after him as he makes for a side exit, and the understated carriage within. As they leave the capital city, Ling sheds his opulent robes, donning a much more familiar yellow jacket over simple white trousers. No one speaks as the carriage winds through into the countryside. Mustang remembers this trip vividly, despite the time away, and pays the trees no mind.

They arrive to find Alphonse and Mei sitting together on a bench outside the cabin. Both are despondent and tear-streaked. Ling wastes no time in practically flinging himself from the carriage, and wrapping his arms around Alphonse tightly. Mei looks mildly uncomfortable at the familiarity from her Emperor, but she doesn’t move more than a few inches away. Mustang and Hawkeye stay some distance away, scanning the surrounding area. 

“He’s up at the wildflower field,” Mei says softly, and with a start Mustang realizes she’s speaking to him. His brow furrows in confusion, and Mei gives him a melancholy smile. “It was her favorite place.” 

“May we go?” Ling asks softly, sitting beside Alphonse and still holding the younger Elric tightly. At Mei’s nod he stands, helping the blonde to his feet as Alphonse had broken down again. They work their way up to the paved paths behind the cabin, Ling keeping an arm wrapped around Alphonse and Mei falling back to walk alongside Mustang, Hawkeye at his back. 

Mustang looks at the girl, not knowing what they’re walking into but at a loss for how to ask. The girl, bless her, is apparently possessed of far more mercy than Edward would have been. 

Mei watches the ground as they walk, her voice kept soft so Alphonse didn’t have to hear it again. “I was over for dinner when she went quiet. We thought she was just more tired than usual, and got her all tucked in after the dishes had been cleared. We were standing at the bottom of the stairs saying our goodbyes so I could go home when Edward suddenly cursed and told Alphonse to walk me out. That was…..we made it all the way out to the cobblestone before we realized what Edward had already caught on to. Edward had wrapped her in her favorite blanket and was halfway down the stairs when we went back inside.” 

Her voice shakes, and Mustang’s heart breaks for them all. He still doesn’t know where Edward is, though that question is answered easily enough as they come to the fields Nina had so dearly loved. Mustang’s steps falter at the sight of Edward standing in a deep rectangular hole, shovel tossed up on the side. 

Alphonse moves to the bundle hidden by a chipper quilt covered in birds, lifting it despite his tears and handing it off to Edward. The bundle is set down gently, and the elder brother climbs out of the hole. Head bowed, he takes up the shovel and begins filling the grave as Alphonse stands with Mei, Ling hovering as near to Edward as he can without getting in the way. 

They all silently bid the happy chimera goodbye, and it begins raining just as Edward has finished packing the last of the dirt. Mei keeps tight hold of Al’s hand, and Ling wraps an arm around Edward gently. 

“I’m so sorry, Edward,” Hawkeye murmurs softly, her voice thick with more emotion that he suspects he’s ever heard from her. He hadn’t expected her to be so moved, and it does nothing to help him maintain his own composure. 

Edward looks them both over, seemingly unconcerned with the rain soaking them all through. “We knew it was a possibility. No one can ever hurt her again. That’s all that matters.” Both Ling and Al flinch at the emptiness of his voice, and they all trail helplessly after him as he pivots suddenly and heads back for the house.

Mustang doesn’t know why they came, other than this ever-burning magnetism deep within him that insists he should be here, a certainty that Edward needs him. 

Alphonse alchemizes them all dry once they reach the cabin, and Edward disappears into the kitchen. They can all hear the kettle being filled. Giving Hawkeye a glance to stay, he moves after the elder blond, studying the set to his shoulders and the faint shaking of his hands. 

“Edward,” he murmurs softly, making sure his presence is known. The last thing he wants is to startle him. 

Edward doesn’t turn, and if not for the tightening of the muscles in his back Mustang might think Edward hadn’t heard him. He approaches slowly, unsure at this point what he’s doing but unable to ignore the sight. 

Unfortunately the sight is one he knows well. Edward biting back his own pain for the sake of others has become so common that it doesn’t even register anymore as anything but pure Edward Elric. It’s nearly a part of his personality, and the realization makes something within Mustang shrivel and cower. No one should be so used to tearing themselves apart for the sake of others. 

Edward’s hands hold tightly to the counter, seemingly oblivious to the faint hissing of the kettle as it begins to boil. Mustang’s hands come around either side of Ed, turning the stove off with one hand while the other rests against the blond’s side for support and added awareness, the better to notice if Ed tries to move away. Even without the automail, Mustang knows that an elbow can hurt even when it’s not owned by someone with extensive combat knowledge. 

He’s so focused on not burning either of them as he moves the kettle that he jumps when Ed suddenly grabs his arm. Unable to move back, Mustang waits, the subtle shaking of Ed’s shoulders twisting his insides most unpleasantly. The blond pivots, burying his face in the older man’s shoulder with a suddenness that startles Mustang into wrapping his arms around him before he’s thought better of it. 

Both hands fist in his uniform, and Ed’s knees give out as a strangled sob racks his frame. Mustang lowers Ed slowly, hoping to save his flesh knee from bruises, watching the losing battle as the emotions battering the younger man finally break free. Between the hold on his uniform and his own selfish weakness, all the Fuhrer can do is curl himself around Edward, as though he could shelter him from the world. 

####

Hearing the echo of Edward finally cracking, Alphonse merely leans against Mei with a faint echo of a smile. Ling mirrors the expression, sitting on a nearby armchair should he be needed. Hawkeye stands off to the side, watching them all. She’s not sure what Mei and Ling had been whispering about in soft Xingese, but it doesn’t put her on edge the way it should. 

_“Are you sure?”_ Ling asks softly. 

Al nods once without lifting his head. _“Yes. If Brother wants to go. I don’t know how well he’ll be able to stay here without her, though he’ll want to come back. We still visit Mom’s, too.”_

Ling’s expression turns thoughtful, sharp eyes flicking from Al to Mei and back. _“Mei is technically my sister,”_ he says hesitantly. She scowls at the floor, her upbringing not allowing her to direct the expression at him since his coronation. She’s technically still a princess of Xing, and she has never hated it as much as she does now.

Al just nods again. He doesn’t want to think about having to leave her, but he can’t fathom letting his brother return to Amestris alone. Many have accused them of an unhealthy codependency that bordered on obscene, but both brothers merely smiled and let the words slide off. They’re closer than most, that part isn’t a lie. But given that Ed had literally held Al’s soul in his hands, and lost one as a result, they don’t really know any other way to be. The usual boundaries and limitations don’t apply to them after everything they’ve been through. 

Ling manages a small grin. He can practically taste where Al’s thoughts went, more or less. _“You and Edward will have to come to the palace before you leave. As eldest, Edward will have to make a formal request to me to leave Mei into your keeping. Mostly formal. Actually, if he can tell me you two are taking her without punching me, I’ll be satisfied.”_

Both Mei and Alphonse manage hollow giggles, and Hawkeye very nearly pulls her sidearm at the sudden touch of mirth. She stares at Ling, debating how best to speak her thoughts without starting an international incident, but Alphonse looks up at her and shakes his head. 

“It’s alright, Captain. The levity is appreciated. Nina always hated when we were sad. She’d want us to smile.” His eyes cut to the entry to the kitchen, but he doesn’t make any move to follow. He doesn’t need to, he knows Edward’s grief has cracked open. The lack of sound means Edward hasn’t thrown the Fuhrer out the back door, so Alphonse lets it be.

Hawkeye watches the boy closely. The team knows well, better than most, just how close the brothers are. In the interests of not interfering unless necessary, she’s using Alphonse to gauge how Edward and Mustang are. She’s long past questioning how those boys always know how the other is feeling. 

There’s not time to comment before Mustang steps out of the kitchen, a limp and sleeping Edward in his arms. There’s a moment of blind panic from everyone except Alphonse, who merely gestures to the empty couch. Mustang moves carefully, Edward’s hand fisted securely into the uniform. Sighing softly, he doesn’t bother trying to break the hold, sitting instead and cradling the sleeping man. 

“Wondered if he’d cave this time,” mutters Alphonse, an accompanying head shake from Mei seeming to only reinforce the statement.

Ling, however, snorts. “When has Edward ever taken anything for himself?” 

“He doesn’t. Not willingly. Waiting him out is definitely a trial in patience, though,” Al replies, as though this conversation were normal. 

Hawkeye glances between them, and when Alphonse looks over, merely raises an eyebrow. The boy, unlike her superior on the other side of the room, doesn’t cower or hesitate or flinch. She’s granted a far brighter grin than had been managed thus far. When no explanation is forthcoming, she lifts the other one as well. 

Al’s grin somehow brightens, and he shrugs the shoulder not wedged against Mei. He’s not entirely sure how to articulate everything she may not realize she’s asking, but he isn’t bothered. Most of it isn’t technically his to tell, though everyone here knows how often Edward bares his feelings. 

A sniffle from the elder brother draws everyone’s attention, and Mustang very nearly panics. He’s never been quite so directly in the line of fire regarding the attention Edward’s very presence seems to command, and despite spending the last two years as Fuhrer he finds himself mildly daunted by how easily and completely all attention swivels to the blond in his arms. He’d held a great deal of power in his hands but this is far beyond anything he has experienced. More shocking still, Edward sits partway up, still leaning heavily into him, and isn’t bothered in the slightest by any of it. 

Edward rubs the last of the tear-tracks from his face and looks over to Al. He’s not surprised to find the man leaning against Mei, and it sets one corner of his brain to problem solving. This house hurts. He’s not ready to stay here without Nina. Not yet. Seeing Winry has also reminded him quite clearly that they’ve been disconnected for a while now. A visit to Amestris can’t hurt anymore than watching Nina go still beneath his hand. 

“Stop that, Edward,” Ling says suddenly, earning a glare from the man. “You’re making the walls shake. You’re allowed to want.” Ling stares Edward down, no small feat given the legendary stubbornness of the esteemed Elric brothers. 

The silence from the man grows unnerving, and even Alphonse is no longer smiling. Just as Hawkeye begins to sweat (though she will deny it to her dying day) Alphonse sighs, switching to Xingese to speak without their visitors knowing. Sometimes it helps to disconnect from their past, even when it’s just the two of them. _“All I want is for you to find peace, Brother, in whatever measure we are allowed. You sacrificed your childhood and peace of mind for me. You sacrificed your home and comfort for Nina. It’s your turn. What do you want?”_

Ling studies Edward as the latter rises from the couch. He pulls his hair out of the bun, running his fingers through it idly as he lets his mind turn. Mustang and Hawkeye wait on edge, though Mei has relaxed back into the couch, and Alphonse’s head has returned to her shoulder. They settle in to wait for Edward to work around his demons and figure out what his next steps will be. 

_“Would you come with us, Mei?”_ he asks suddenly, earning an immediate confirmation from the girl. They’ve already talked about it, then. He huffs a soft, largely humorless laugh and turns to Ling. _“What do we need to do, then? We’ve been away from home for long enough.”_

Alphonse grins, patting Mei’s arm. He rises, heading to the hall closet to dig out their suitcases. Mustang watches curiously as the infernal worn leather suitcase from Ed’s State Alchemy days surfaces, followed by three others in far better condition. Ling seems to levitate upwards, and loops an arm through Edwards to drag him outside, chattering away in Xingese the whole way. 

Mei remains on the couch, her smile serene. “Good. It’s well past time,” she says softly.

“May I ask what for?” Mustang asks, equally softly. He usually detests not being the first to know what is going on, but this time, it is purely concern for Edward that drives him. He knows how much the boy had sacrificed over the years. 

Mei takes her time and looks him over instead of answering immediately. “They are going to return to Amestris. Whether permanently or just to visit is not my decision to make. I would like to go with them, but that will be up to Emperor Yao.” She pauses, eyes narrowing and Mustang sees clearly the warrior within the princess. “Where you stand is up to you. You know his story. You know his ways.” She offers nothing further, rising as Alphonse comes downstairs with two suitcases clearly packed full. 

####

Arriving back at the palace seems almost surreal after the side trip out to the house. Mustang and Hawkeye are escorted to their rooms to freshen up. Neither knows where the Elrics went, but they’ve seen enough to know that Ling will take care of them. They indulge in a light lunch after being assured that there’s time before they’re due to meet with the Emperor, and only when they’re sated and their uniforms are spotlessly in place do they emerge from their suite. 

They’re met by the sight of Edward, Alphonse and Mei all in traditional Xingese garb as they stand before the Emperor. Ling is back in his opulent gold silk robes, the brown undertones seeming to just make him shine brighter. Edward’s changshan is the glaring red Mustang still associates with him, black underneath and lined subtly in silver. Alphonse beside him is in a much more muted and sensible forest green and grey. Mei stands on Alphonse’s other side in a lovely cheongsam of deep greens and beiges, pale pink flowers blooming across the fabric. 

Mei and Alphonse bow as Mustang and Hawkeye near, while Edward merely offers the most sarcastically inexcusable salute Mustang had ever seen. Ling just laughs, and even those hovering around the edges waiting to be needed aren’t surprised. It would appear that everyone here knows how the Emperor feels about the Elrics, and how completely he will defend them. 

Edward watches Ling and Mustang walk off, biting back another sigh. He’d been doing a lot of it today. He turns back to Alphonse and Mei, ignoring the look he gets from his brother. _“Do you need to pack for an extended trip to Amestris?”_ Edward asks Mei, now that Ling has agreed to let her remain with them until they’ve chosen where to settle and marry. 

Mei shakes her head. _“I have everything I need packed already. I’d been spending most of my time here in the palace when I wasn’t with you, so the girls have already packed everything for me. There wasn’t a doubt, just a required formality.”_ She’d finalized the packing as soon as they’d returned to the palace.

Edward merely grins as they wander out towards the gardens, her excitement speaking volumes. She and Alphonse are good together, and he’d like to see them stay that way. Having multiple complex situations to ponder over has distracted him from the worst of his grief, and one of them is the pair with him. 

Once they’re far enough out that they won’t be overheard, Edward slows. _“Have either of you thought about where you’d like to live?”_ he asks softly. Mei turns thoughtful, but Alphonse frowns, and Edward waves the impending chastisement off. There’s a series of thoughts after it, and not only about Alphonse’s future. 

Mei looks to Alphonse, who gives Edward one last exasperated look before answering. _“We haven’t really decided. There’s benefits to both sides and losses for whichever one we don’t choose. Why?”_ He studies Edward’s expression, looking past the expected dulling of his usual mirth to make sure this isn’t another deflection. 

Edward, well used to Al’s scrutiny, merely tucks his hands into the sleeves of his robes. _“So don’t chose. Spend a set amount of time, whether it’s an even half year or not, living here, and the rest in Amestris. You’re both in a position to become ambassadors, moreso if you ever get around to proposing.”_ He grins at the look on Al’s face at the insinuation that he might not ever propose to Mei. _“You love the head games, and as a civilian you can begin to divert power away from the military. Ling will be all for it, so Amestris can’t really afford to try and corral you.”_

Mei’s hold on Al’s arm tightens imperceptibly, and he spares her a smile before refocusing on Ed. There’s a part of him that is extremely thankful that Mei understands the bond he has with Ed, and doesn’t begrudge either of them for it. _“And what about you, Brother?”_ he asks, almost afraid of the answer. 

Ed’s smile is less bright this time, and Al’s heart aches. _“I can bounce easily enough between here, Granny’s place, Dubith, and Central. Mrs. Hughes would put me up if I asked, and I’ve probably still got leftover fund money from the military sitting around if they haven’t found a way to swipe it once we left.”_ He pauses, memories flooding back that he’d not looked at for over three years now. _“I gave you back your body so you could have the life you deserve. We put that on hold for Nina, you’re right. But you have a chance now to go and grow. I don’t have anything driving me anymore, I’ve done what I set out to do. We’ll end up back in Central before long. If Mustang wants to step up and own his shit, I’ll stay there and see what happens. If not, Ling assures me I’m always welcome here. I can teach alchemical theory and Xerxian history and theology at the Alkahestry university. Since most of them can’t do Amestrian alchemy, not having mine won’t impact anything.”_

Alphonse gives Mei a reassuring pat before releasing her to wrap his arms around Edward. The uncharacteristic display would mean more than the hold itself, but he can’t help himself. _“Are you sure? Don’t worry about Mei and I, Brother. Is this what you want?”_

Ed hugs him back just as hard, very nearly bringing Al to tears. Edward didn’t do physical affection, not like this. _“I’m sure, kid. I don’t have a set path, but I’m not just gonna lay down and let the universe finish rolling over me. We’ve done too damned much to let it win now.”_ He pulls back, and Al grins at him at the last statement. They’d weathered far worse, and they’ll weather this. 

_“Elrics aren’t quitters. Remember that, Mei. That’ll include you soon enough.”_ Mei’s face redness beneath Edward’s grin, but she’s not at all opposed to being part of these brothers’ world. They are honest and selfless in a way she hadn’t been sure existed when she was a little girl. She’d been raised believing she’d have to kill off her siblings. The bond Edward and Alphonse have keeps her spirits light. 

They resume wandering once that’s cleared up, their conversation turning to the trip back across the desert and the people that they want to go see. The boys have quite a trip ahead of them, wanting to see their friend from Resembool and Liore, Dublith and Central. They’ll go back with Mustang and Hawkeye, and just get off the train sooner to start visiting the cities in the East. They’ve got a plan, and for the brothers, that’s all they’ve ever really needed. They’ll make the rest happen.


	3. Changed

The train’s whistle sounds, and Edward jolts up from where he’d dozed off. Mei, similarly startled, is sitting up from where she’d been slumped against Alphonse. All three of them stand, stretching and groaning before collecting their luggage. They’d caved after carrying everything from Liore back to Granny’s place, and let Winry build them a wheeled half-cart that they can strap all the suitcases to and just roll it along. Ed’s leg is back in peak shape, even after visiting Teacher down in Dublith and a jaunt through Rush Valley. 

At long last, they’ve arrived in Central. Phone calls had been exchanged all over Amestris once they were back in range of the phone lines, usually by Alphonse. They were expected, and both boys were looking forward to seeing Garcia and Elicia again. Tears, of course, are expected. 

They set off down the street once they’d escaped the confines of the train, taking in the changes in the city Bradley had once ruled from with an outsider’s eyes. They can see the changes, and Mei’s demeanor is vastly different from when she had first visited. No one is tense. 

They take their time, using the height of the sun to gauge how long they wander before heading to the townhouse and knocking on Gracia’s door. Almost before Alphonse finishes knocking, the door is flung open and both Elrics find themselves wrapped up in a sobbing Elicia. Garcia comes up behind her, simply smiling her serene mom-smile at them all. 

When standing in the hall gets awkward, Edward bends his knees to drop his center of gravity and scoops Elicia into his arms. He grins at her squeal. “Come on, kid. I’ve been drooling on a train seat for three days thinking about your mom’s pie.” He heads inside as he talks, Al and Mei just shaking their heads and following him inside. 

It takes a grand total of four minutes and seventeen seconds for them all to be seated at the table, two pies half eaten before them and Elicia perched securely on Edward’s lap as he describes some of the animals native to Xing that she’d most likely never heard of. She’s staring up at him in awe, taking everything in, and Gracie finds herself surprised. 

She knows, of course, that they’re not really boys anymore. Far too much has happened to them and around them, never mind their ages. But even she still expected explosive Edward, the way he was when he left. This calm, patient man pausing his story to define the words Elicia doesn’t know so she can learn without feeling belittled is almost a different person. She glances at Alphonse and catches him watching her watch Edward. He’s got the same look on his face that she knows she has for Ed, and even as her heart swells for how far they’ve come, it breaks at the lingering shadows on the edges of their eyes. It’s easy to miss if one isn’t looking for it, or used to searching for it behind the mask. It’s the same look that Mustang had after Maes’s death, and that he often has still. 

Another knock sounds at the door, and she rises, this time confused. She’s not expecting anyone else. She opens the door to Fuhrer Mustang, no longer in his uniform, and silently beckons him inside. It’s impossible for her to miss the way some of the tension leaves him as Ed’s voice carries to the door, and they walk silently back to stand just beyond the dining room’s entrance to watch Gracia’s guests. 

Edward has begun sketching something for Elicia on spare parchment that seems to have come from Alphonse’s pocket, illustrating the way a particular species of vine grows, by the sound of it. She’s enraptured, and asking questions far more astute than most children her age. The more focused Elicia gets, the happier Edward seems to become in explaining everything he can think of.

Mustang smiles at the sight before him. Elicia is so much like Maes sometimes that it still hurts, but he’s made his peace now. Maes will live on forever in her, this girl who has already mastered his probing, too-knowing stare and the odd quirk of the mouth that can mask just how much information he’s really got. There’s no denying it. These boys….no, these men have changed. 

Three hours later, Elicia has been tucked in, read several paragraphs from one of Ed’s favorite beginner biology texts and is now sound asleep. Alphonse is on the phone with Winry, catching her up and assuring her they made it safely to Central without anyone trying to arrest Edward for assault. Mei and Garcia are conversing quietly as they put the dishes away. Mustang sits on the couch, watching Edward more warily now than he had before. 

Edward knows Mustang is stuck in his head again. He can practically taste it. He doesn’t regret his words back in Xing. He meant every one. The ball is Mustang’s now, and he has no interest in trying to coerce an ideal response from the older man. He’s never had the patience for the headgames, it always felt like people lying to each other for no other reason than blind pettiness and he hates it. 

After several tense moments, Mustang takes a breath. “How long will you be staying?” He asks softly. Normally, the tone would be more casual, but Mustang doesn’t know if this has already been decided as a short trip, and won’t bare his soul if Edward is just going to run it over on his way back out of town. 

Edward shrugs, which does nothing helpful to Mustang’s insides. “Truthfully, we have no idea. Most of this is just by ear. I don’t have a home. Not really. Granny always has a bed for Al n’ I, and Gracia’s putting us all up tonight. Teacher kept us when we were in Dublith. We burned down our house so we couldn’t look back, and now we don’t have a place to call our own. I’ll stay where I’m needed.” 

He doesn’t pin Mustang with a meaningful glare, though his words are intentional. He’d meant them then, and he means them now. He’d been needed most in Xing, but that’s no longer the case. If Mustang is willing to prove he needs Edward the way Edward never allowed himself to crave Mustang, he’ll stay in Central. If not, he’ll move on again. He’s made no promises and owes no one anything. 

“I hated the way I saw you after Marcoh gave me back my sight,” Mustang says suddenly, and Edward scowls. “You’d always been young, in number if nothing else. I tried to look out for you without smothering you. I left you to learn the world, and the part I played in your pain makes me ill. As I lost my sight on the Promised Day….you were still a boy to me then. But afterwards…..when I had started to accept that I’d never see you scowl at me, or see Alphonse at all, I was given a second chance.” Mustang pauses, steadfastly refusing to look up at Edward. “I appreciated things after that. For the first time in far too long, I could see the world, the things I’d taken for granted. The morning dew on the grass, the steam curling up from my coffee. And suddenly I saw you with new eyes. You weren’t a boy anymore and all of a sudden I could see it. When I caught myself staring at your jawline and your hips and wondering what it would feel like to trace it all, I panicked. I got a 12-year-old you all tied up with of-age you, and in the process thoroughly disgusted myself.” He wrings his hand as he talks, thankful that his gloves are in his pocket. He’d rub his fingers raw. 

Edward snorts, and that causes Mustang’s eyes to shoot up to his. He regrets it immediately. Molten gold dances with mirth, most likely at his expense, and Mustang burns. 

“You think you’re the only one who noticed? I got propositioned eight times at the Central train station alone trying to get Alphonse back to Resembool. The nurses weren’t bad before we were released, but after that it was a damned free-for-all. I nearly had to kill people to keep them from trampling Al’s fragile body.” He shifts himself, lounging across the end of the couch that he’d claimed and pretends for now not to notice how Mustang’s breath catches. He doesn’t bother rubbing Mustang’s face in everyone he could have had back then, or everything Mustang could have from him now. That isn’t the point. He lapses back into silence, knowing that will speak volumes for him. He’s not going to ask, and he’s damned sure not going to beg. If Mustang isn’t willing to reach, then Edward won’t waste his time staying in range. It’s become that simple to him. 

Mustang looks down at his hands, momentarily at war with himself. The man well-versed in political games doesn’t want to admit how much he wants to know what it feels like to be captured by Edward’s gravity. A weakness of that magnitude, despite having secured the Fuhrer-ship, could ruin him. But Edward’s words, both two years ago and those spoken today, echo around his brain. Mustang realizes that he hasn’t been rejected. Edward just isn’t going to grovel. And Mustang believes with a surety that floors him that the blond watching him should never have to. Squaring his shoulders, obsidian meets gold, and with one last heave Mustang tears down the wall. 

“I need you,” he says softly. “The politician in me is terrified of just how much. I’ve always needed you. You kept me honest when you were younger. Ironically, you also kept me on my toes. Kept me playing the game, kept pushing me to do more. Be more. Now…..now I want you in a whole new capacity…...even as I know well I don’t have any right to ask any more of you.” 

Edward gives him a melancholy grin, which very nearly causes Mustang to get up and walk out in mortification and shame. “I get it, you know,” Ed says just as quietly. At Mustang’s disbelieving look, he gestures to his leg. “I figured out long ago how much power I have, and just how much damage it could do. I know how you feel, Mustang. How it feels to have to fight yourself every day, because you know exactly what the price of your selfishness is. I reached into the universe in my own selfishness, and my brother paid the price for that because I was strong enough to open the door.” He pauses, his gaze sharpening as Mustang attempts to sit back, as though to put distance between him and the truth Edward is pouring for him. “I see you, Mustang. The good, the bad, the hopeful and the broken. Ain’t changed shit. I’m still here. You decide for how long.” 

“Forever.” 

Edward blinks, and in that moment’s pause Mustang seems to wilt beneath the realization that he’d said it out loud. They’re going to have to work on that. It takes two and a half seconds of deliberation for Edward to decide on a course of action. Rising, he slides across the couch, moving quick enough to startle Mustang into laying back beneath him. Edward doesn’t stop until he’s propped directly over the older man, one hand on the back of the couch, the other on the armrest beside the silky fall of raven hair. His automail leg is braced against the floor, his flesh knee settling between Mustang’s legs. Edward lets his grin free then, the victorious smirk cutting across his face as he looks down at the man who’d finally figured it out. 

“You sure that’s what you want, _Roy_?” he asks, his voice dropping an octave at the name and making Mustang’s mouth go dry.

The sight of this golden demon grinning over him heats Mustang’s blood in a way he can’t remember ever experiencing quite so clearly. His hands, he realizes, have settled on mind-numbingly delectable hip bones, and his fingers tighten at the whisper of a thought that Mustang might consider letting go. He’s already lost, and despite everything that has already happened today he’s shocked to discover that he has absolutely no wish whatsoever to be found. 

He has to lick his lips twice before he can answer, and the way Edward’s pupils dilate at the motion does nothing to dislodge his heart currently nestled in the back of his throat. “Yes. More than I have wanted anything in a very long time.” 

In any other circumstance, he’d be ashamed of admitting so, but the way Edward’s cheeks darken even as his eyes ignite makes it so very worth it. That golden head lowers, and Mustang remembers at the very last moment to fill his lungs before those sinful lips settle against his own. Mustang can now describe rapture and he goes willingly into oblivion.


End file.
